Jokes-o-matic^.com

Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are given the oppurtunity to walk only if they convince ten other guys not to do drugs. They both agree and set off. The first male comes back and says "I…

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says," How bad is it doc? I'm going …

Which Valentine's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive.... 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Sex 5. Dinner/Dancing 6. Waffle iron …

Why was former President Clinton so interested in the events in the Middle East? Because he thought the Gaza Strip is a topless bar!

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the…

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Pete says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be …

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessa…

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired." = I'm tired. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd…

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she…

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roomma…