Animals jokes
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Alex and Kermit
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle names
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A Gummy Problem
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because he was stuck to the chicken's foot
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Huge Pause
A bear walks into a bar and says �I want a bourbon and....a coke�, the bartender asks �what�s with the huge pause?� The bear say �I�ve had them all my life.�
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Poker animals
Q: What animal should you never play cards with?
A: A cheetah!
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Pig!
A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "Pig!"
The man immediately leans out his w…
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Blondes and Turtles
What do turtles and blondes have in common?
If they're on their back, they're screwed!
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Who is Marylou?!?
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.
"I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on …
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What, Exactly, Are Cats?
1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.
6…
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Four Men and Their Dogs
Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, "T-Square, do your stuff."…
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Crossbred Dogs
Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but ... it doesn't seem to matter.
Bull Terrier x Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.
Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, a tradit…