Animals jokes
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King JESUS
This guy breaks into a house, and starts stealin some jewerly out of a jewerly box. Out of nowhere he hears,
"Jesus is watchin you."
He looks around, but doesn't see anything, so he goes into the nex…
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Doggy Style
Q: Why does a dog lick himself?
A: Because he can't make a fist.
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To Diet For
A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (212) 555-DIET" and decides to make the call. The operator asks, "How much weight do you want to lose?"
"Twenty pounds," he replie…
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What's the difference between a dead lawer ...
Q: What's the difference between a dead lawer in the middle of the road and a dead rattlesnake in the middle of the road?
A: There is skid marks before the snake
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Jungle Fever
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him…
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How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
She drowns it!!
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What animal should you never play cards with?
What animal should you never play cards with?
A cheetah!
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Q:What do you do to an elephant with three ...
Q: What do you do to an elephant with three balls?
A: Walk him and pitch to the rhinoceros!
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Totally Bats
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first ba…
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There were two blondes at the park...
There were two blondes at the park.
One says, "Look at that dead seagull over there."
And the other looks up and says, "Where?"