Animals jokes

  • Bull
    What is another name for a masturbating bull? Beef Strokinoff.
  • Help. I Lost My Crippled Turtle.
    Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs? Wherever you put it, dumbass.
  • Something Men Can't Get...
    Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease? Because they are all PIGS!
  • Three Little Pigs
    A pig went into McDonalds, got a Coke, went to the restroom and left. A second pig went into McDonalds, got two Cokes, went to the bathroom and left. A third pig went into McDonalds, got three Cokes…
  • Carrots
    How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
  • Fish says, "Duuuuude!"
    What does a fish use to get high? Seaweed!
  • The Golden Mug
    A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said “Win this...free beer for LIFE!” The man walked up to the bartender and asked “how do I win this golden mug?…
  • Doggone It
    What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? Ruff!
  • Horny Toad
    What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad? One goes "Ribbit" and the other goes "Rubbit."
  • Dog Crossing
    Why did the dog cross the road? He saw some dog food.
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