Animals jokes

  • Tasties in a Half Shell
    Q: Why did God invent armadillos? A: So that rednecks can have 'possum on the half-shell.
  • Ba Ba Black Sheep
    Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were s…
  • Hit and run
    What would be the difference between a dead rabbit on the side of the road and Brittney Spears dead on the road? There would be skid marks in front of the rabbit.
  • A piece of advice
    Never play leap-frog with a unicorn.
  • The bear and the rabbit
    There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only ma…
  • Thirsty whale
    What did the thirsty whale do? Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.
  • Monkeying around
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.
  • How To Prepare Chicken...
    A waiter asks a man, �May I take your order, sir?� �Yes,� the man replies. �I�m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?� �Nothing special, sir. We just tell them st
  • Stinkin' Proof
    One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog. When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier said she needed proof that the old lady had a dog because some old people have be…
  • Best Goldfish Joke Ever!
    Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive."
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