Barroom jokes
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Lawyer or Ass?
A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, All lawyers are assholes.
A man sitting in the corner shouts, I t…
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Redneck Drivers
The U.S. Government decided to take an experiment to see what people say right before they get into an auto accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, shit!''
In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my
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Futurama
How does a man plan for the future? He buys TWO cases of beer.
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The Queen's Legs
There were two men sitting on a wall outside a pub called the Queen's Legs. A policeman came along and said, What are you doing? The two men said, We're were wating for the Queen's Legs to open
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Californiacation
A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all drinking in a bar.
After a while, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, threw it in the air and shot it into a thousand pieces. "Don't you boys worry…
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Just Keep Drinking!
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, �Quick pour me twelve drinks.�
So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after …
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Alligators and Women
A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash. Once he is in the bar he tells all the patrons that are present that for a round of drinks from everyone in the bar he will insert his peni…
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Hitler Abstains
Q. Why didn't Hitler drink tequila?
A. Cause it made him mean.
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How Tall Is It?
A man was walking down the street and on the corner were 3 drunks trying to raise a telephone pole. They worked and worked and finally got the thing in the air. Two of of the drunks held the …
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Do You Have Any Nails?
A woman walks in a bar and asks the bartender if he has any peanuts. He says no. She comes back the next day with the same question and gets the same answer. She then comes back another day and asks h…