Barroom jokes
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Three Strings Walk Into a Bar
There were three strings that walked into the bar. They sat down and they didn''t get waited on so the first string walked up to the bar and asked for three beers. The bartender said, ''I'm sorr…
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Control Freaks
Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are talking about the control they have over their wives, while the third remains silent.
After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, "What…
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Female Hormones in Beer
Two men were in a pub.
One man said, "Did you know that beer contains female hormones?"
The other man said, "No! Is it true?"
"Yes," said the first man. "If you drink too much, you start talking c
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Drunk
Did you hear about the man who got drunk?
It was his own fault for sitting in a teacup!
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How Many Men to Open a Beer?
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you!
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Drunken Fat Chance
A policeman stops a motorist and says, ''Excuse me sir, have you been drinking?''
The motorist says, ''Why, have I got a fat girl next to me?''
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Alaskan Drunk Goes Fishing
A drunk guy in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice.
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, and a loud booming voice says, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH …
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Shy Guy's Rejection
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, ''Um, would you mind if I cha…
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Beer and Women
Q: What's the difference between a beer and a woman?
A: You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
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Hungry Monkey
A man and his monkey walk into a bar. The man walks over to the counter and orders a drink. The monkey runs straight for the pool table and jumps on it. The monkey picks up one of the billiard balls a…