Business jokes

  • Prison Carpenter
    Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangem…
  • Thermos and Blonde
    A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her co-workers has a thermos. She asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, ''It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold'' The blonde w…
  • Signs You've Had Enough of the New Millenium
    1) You try to enter your password on the microwave. 2) You now think of three espressos as ''getting wasted.'' 3) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 4) You have …
  • How To Get A Raise
    A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?'' ''In 3 months.''
  • The Millennium Kid
    Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, ''Congratulations sir, You're the father of twi…
  • Top 20 Signs It's a Bad Day
    You wake up face down on the pavement.You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.You see a ''60 minutes'' news team waiting in your office.Yo…
  • Double Entendres Out The Wazoo
    There was a boss who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak t…
  • Carpet
    A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette. Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing. …
  • Laxative Cough Therapy
    A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and he always gets the orders wrong. His boss tells him if he screws up one more time, he is fired. An old man walks in and orders cough syrup. He …
  • Blonde Welfare
    Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office? A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
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