Children jokes
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Hold the Mayo
Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over and to try to keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfrend will say tomato if she wants him to g…
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Strawberry Manure
A little boy runs across this farmer who has a truckload of cow manure. The boy asks him what he is going to do with all that cow poop. The farmer tells the little boy, ''I'm taking it home to put on …
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Blonde Boobies
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
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How Do You Like That?
A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, Are you my daddy? The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at…
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Little Nancy's Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldf…
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Subway Series School
On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?"
Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied bye raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.
Th…
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Mommy and Daddy Dearest
There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer.
So the teacher asks Bobby, What is this animal called?
I dunno, claims Bobby.
So then she says…
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Children and Cars
Children in the back of the car cause accidents.
Accidents in the back of the car cause children.
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In the Family Closet
Just as mom walks though the door, little Jonny comes running over. He says ''Mommy, Mommy. I was playing in daddy's closet and he can in with the lady next door and they started kissing and then …
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Are You Ready for Children?
Are you considering having children? To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests...
MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and cu…