College jokes

  • OSU
    An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table.   Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he…
  • Survival of the Fittest Brain Cells
        A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back of the herd that are killed first.  This natural sel…
  • Out Of College
    You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your potted plants stay alive. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. You have to pay your own cr…
  • How to Write a College Paper
    1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Check your email. 3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand i…
  • Diet for Stress
    Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit1 slice whole wheat toast8 oz. skim milk Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast1 cup steamed spinach1 cup herb tea1 Oreo cookie Mid-Afternoon Snack: The rest of Oreos in t…
  • Taxi Fare
    A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, "Do you have enough room up there for a Pizza and a six pack of Beer?" The cabbie says, "Sure." So the frat boy leans forward and throws-u
  • Losin' It
    A guy and a girl are lying in a dorm-room bed after just having sex. The guy lies on his side of the bed and rests. The girl rolls to her side of the bed and says to herself, "I finally did it! I'm no…
  • Signs You Have a Hangover
    You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets.Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "stay still."Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reactio…
  • Drinking Game: Big Lebowski
    The way this game works is every time the word f**k is used (in any form, ex. f**king, f**ker, etc.), or the word dude (in any form, ex. "his dudeliness, the dudester, etc.) is used, you take a drink.…
  • Men vs. Women vs. the Short Story
    Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University: In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today w…
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