College jokes

  • College Grads
    A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much it cost?" A graduate…
  • One-Armed Jock
    An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smarta…
  • Legend of the Maidens
    An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico with Native Americans who told him the Legend of the Maidens. The tale went this way: "There are beautiful maidens who live in the cracks and crevice…
  • Scary Stages of College
    You know you're in trouble when... 1. The McDonald's people know you by name from late night study breaks. 2. You have spent more time figuring out that you only need a 54% to pass the final than …
  • How Annoy Your Roommate
    1. Blast the Phantom of the Opera at midnight and sign along with it at the top of your lungs. 2. Smile at the walls constantly and talk and laugh with them. 3. When he/she says, "Is it hot out?" …
  • Moms and Their Snooping
    Three women are discussing their teenage daughters. The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't ev…
  • Bush Gets Testy
    Q: What did George W. Bush get on his S.A.T.'s? A: Drool.
  • If Resumes Told the Truth
    OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior. EDUCATION School: Very Expensive Major: Not Important GPA: D…
  • Texan Poetry
    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that go…
  • Signs You Should Join E-Mailers Anonymous
    10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 9) Your firstborn is named Dotcom. 8) You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling…
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