Jokes-o-matic^.com

What's the difference between a sports car and a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside!

You're so stupid, you sleep with a measuring tape to see how long you sleep.

Swimmimg...it's not a sport, it's a way to keep from drowning.

A fat man is dancing at a disco, and he is approached by a beautiful woman. "What on earth do you think you are doing?", says the woman. The obese man replies, "Shaking my groove thang." The woman …

What did one fat chick say to the other? Who cares, they're both fat.

You're so fat, when you sit around the house you really sit around the house.

You are so bald, that when you wear a turtleneck, you look like a broken condom.

An Insult: I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass!

You are so tight-assed, you can back into a wall and suck out a brick!

Q. Have you ever seen a jackass wrapped in plastic? A. Show me your license.