Jokes-o-matic^.com

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes ou…

95% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name!

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth? When his lips are shut.

Definition of a Lawyer: A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.

What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!

Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven? Hell was full.

What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer? The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.

What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river? Pollution. What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge? Solution.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? A: A hooker will stop trying to screw you once you're dead.

Why are lawyers buried 10 feet underground? Because deep down, they're really not that bad!