Medical jokes
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Forgetful Minds
A couple has been married for 50 years. One day they went to a doctor because they recently had been forgetting things and they were afraid that they would leave the stove on. The doctor said, �Ther…
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Leper Stew
How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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So Many Balls Between Us
One guy had three balls, so he went to the doctor. He was too shy to tell the doctor his story so he told him, "Let's just say me and you together have 5 balls in total."
So the doctor replied,
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The Sick Husband
There was a husband and a wife. The husband was very sick, so the wife took him to the hospital and the doctor checked him out. Then the doctor asked the wife to come into his office so they could tal…
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Flu?
The patient sat there looking ill and asked, ''Flu?'' The doctor replied, ''No, I came on my bicycle actually!''
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The Bald Man
A bald man with one leg wanted to go to a fancy dress party but he didn't know what to go as. He wrote to a fancy dress company and asked for a recommendation. The reply came back saying that he coul…
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Baaaad News
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you
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Lab Results
An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, �You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad.�
The old man, naturally, gets a…
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Won't Be Needing These Nikes Anymore
A man lying on a stretcher in the emergency room asks the doctor if he'll be okay. The doctor turns to him and says, "Well, there is good and bad news."
"Tell me the bad news" says the man.
"W…
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I Have Some News for You
A man notices a peculiar rash on his chest. The rash continues to get worse and worse, so the man decides to see a doctor. He goes in to the clinic where the staff runs a battery of tests. After …