Medical jokes
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Bad News
A man went to the doctor to get a physical. After the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news... he had cancer and alzheimers.
The man replied, '' Well, at least I don't have can
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Roses are red are a rose are a rose
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
And so am I.
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HMO Executive
The Chief Executive of an HMO died and was very relieved that he got into heaven. Of course, he had to check out after 48 hours...
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Blonde in Pain
A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt.
The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where."
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch…
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The Heart Of The Matter
A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts…
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Your Butt So Big
Your butt so big, that when you were born, the doctor said "Congratulations! Twins!"
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Quizzical
A man and his son are in a car accident and are rushed to the hospital. But when he's wheeled into the OR, the doctor looks at the boy and says "I can't operate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the do
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Taking Sides
There was a man who got into a car accident. He was soon rushed to the hospital.
The left side of his body was completely paralyzed.
The doctor said, "He was going to be all right."
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Doctor, Doctor! Gimme The News!
An old man and a old lady went in the doctor's office to get their yearly exam. The doctor came in and started to get some information from them. He then told the old man that he needed to have a …
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American Technology
A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland. The topic of discussion was the new medical technology from their countries.
'In my country," a German doctor said, "medicine is so advance…