Jokes-o-matic^.com

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven when three men appeared, all of them doctors. Peter looked at the first one and asked, ''What have you done in your life to deserve admittance in…

A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.'' ''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the r…

What has 500,000 feet and still can't walk? Jerry's kids.

Q: How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twelve: One to do it. one to chart it. ten to write the policy and procedure. Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bu…

Woman: I have a problem. Doctor: Well, are you regular? Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30. Doctor: So, what's the problem? Woman: I

One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office with a carrot in one ear, a cucumber in the other ear and two peas up her nose. When the doctor asked what was wrong, she complained she wasn't feeling w…

A guy walks into a doctor''s office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle coming out of his nose, and bacon coming out of his other ear. He says worriedly, "Doc, what''s wrong with me?!?…

This old lady went to a doctor's office and told him that she has bad gas, but you can't smell it or hear it. So the doctor gives her two pills and tells her take them and come back tomorrow. She came…

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so one day she took him to the doctor's. As the doctor called George in and looked him over, George began insisting, "There's nothing wrong with me. I know…

A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over aga…