Medical jokes
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Redneck's Medical Dictionary
Artery: Study of paintings
Bacteria: Backdoor to cafeteria
Barium: What to do when treatment fails
Bowel: Letter like A E I O or U
Ceasarean Section: District i…
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You're So Ugly... Doctor 2
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor looked at your mom and said, ''This is going to cost extra if I have to touch its ass.''
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Male & Female Brains
One day a group of husbands and wives went to a scientific program. The doctor there was showing them brains from real peopleand telling how expensive it would be to buy one. He said it was five mil…
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Dead Baby Crosses the Street
Why did the dead baby cross the street?
To get away from the abortion clinic.
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Actual Medical Chart Notes
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it di…
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An Order of Spaghetti
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have t…
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Those Conceited Bastard Doctors
Q: What is the difference between a brain surgeon and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a brain surgeon!
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First Day Out
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her…
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The Blue Eye
One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted in him getting his eye gouged out. He was rushed to hospital, and, after awaking from an emergency operation, was told by the doctor that he'd be…
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The Shooting
An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked excactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast.
Th…